If I can smile

Let me smile! Please may I smile. Silly silly I am to overlook so much and swiftly you come in and say your sorry and moments later it's ruined because you need to push.
I'm okay if I say I am okay.
I'm irritated that you take the air I breathe by strangling me with reminders "that you don't listen to me"
To say your sorry is to be sorry and not to make the person feel less happy then before you said sorry.
If I can smile won't you let me?

Hey you... yes you... yes me!

Compassion for yourself enables you to witness your feelings, thoughts, and actions with acceptance, caring, and understanding as you would when empathizing with another. Compassion is expressed with gentleness, tenderness, and generosity of spirit – quite the opposite of self-criticism, perfectionism, and pushing oneself. When most people are stressed, overwhelmed, or exhausted, they attempt to do even more, instead of caring for themselves. If you weren’t nurtured as a child, self-nurturing can be absorbed in therapy over time. You’ll learn to integrate the acceptance and empathy offered by your therapist. Self-compassion differs from self-pity, which is a judgment about your situation or feelings. Rather than acceptance and compassion, self-pity says, “It shouldn’t be this way.”

I need to remember that other's words don't define me! I am who I am and shouldn't feel compelled to say Sorry about that!

True happiness emanates from self-esteem, which is the cornerstone of successful relationships, work, and life. Self-esteem reflects how you treat and talk to yourself. If you’re a perfectionist, deep down you may not think you or your accomplishments are good enough. Although self-esteem can fluctuate with life’s ups and downs, high self-esteem helps you return to feeling okay. You don’t blame yourself or take others’ opinions personally. Healthy self-esteem allows you to honor and trust yourself, to meet your needs, and to live authentically in accordance with your values and feelings.

Your a Chominaaaaaa

I spoke on this once before but the words come springing loudly ...
as I recall the conversation of "he don't define you" 

Years ago they were the words that set fourth a domino effect of courage. Maybe it's time I start to revisit the important people in my life and hold more conversations because it seems it is easier to process things when they are said out loud or when you hear someone else talking about something similar.

As he spoke to me last night and the night before I was thinking about this same stuff in life:

We’re adults. We’ve got all the credentials and scars to show for it. … But a grown-up is supposed to possess himself, to be his own person, to make decisions according to his wishes and his best judgment.
Too often we find that this is not the case with us. Frequently we are so limited by habitual ways of acting and thinking, so needful of the approval of others, and so afraid of their disapproval that we don’t own ourselves at all. We are like a corporation that has gone public, and other people own controlling shares. And for many of us in that position, the biggest shareholders are our parents. [...]
The parent-child relationship is a primary source of who we are, and the mutual emotional attachments are derived from countless interactions, conscious and hidden memories, and profound feelings that go back to our days of oneness with them.

Time to revisit Life Coaching!

Coaching focuses more on looking forward:  setting goals, discovering strengths, and living in such a way that you can find that "sweet spot" of being exactly where God wants you to be, using the strengths He's given you.  All I can say is that it's going to be nice to be back behind the wheel of my life again!

Affirmation

Sometimes it’s difficult to discern God’s direction during challenging times.  Yet other times, God’s will is so crystal clear that it’s like a clarion call for those who are listening.