No updates

So much has been going on...

However I haven't been in my writing mood as much lately.

Life's been good Life's been hard...

The good news is I have heard from my dad...

Son “There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart...pursue those.”

I thought about you today....

Lately I've been wondering about Grandpa... how his health really is. How much time do we really have? A day a couple a few months, just the year or will we have more then the time we were told.

My brother and I went over there and it is becoming harder for me to see him look like he is pain. I almost want to stay away but I know I can't. I want to be a kid again and just be back on the kitchen table watching the family drinking and laughing and talking.

Do you know one thing is - my family always talked. They would talk and talk for days about any and everything. What I would give to live in that moment once again.

I'm scared of how I will feel the moment we loose him. I've also been thinking about Grandpa Tony so much lately. I miss him so much! I wonder if I will ever find a love like the love he had for Grandma... in two months it will be one year that we have been with out him.

Sometimes I think I don't want to go to the Ranch because I feel sad that he is not there. I know I said I love you enough I know for a fact I was there but it hurts so much.

I find myself trying not to think about it to much and trying to supress my feelings. I still don't think I have properly grieved. I want to hear him say is that my Chata... one more time - that level of excitment in his voice when I would call the house...

I can't really process how I feel exactly. I mean I can't let myself I have to hold it all together for everyone else in my life and I have responsibilities.. but I truly could use some time away.

I started to really think about all of this because a girlfriend of mine was crying earlier because of her stepdad and it just made me think about my dad and Grandpas.. I wish my dad was here...

I feel so alone.

my heart hurts I'm going to write in my journal later and rest...

10 Lies You Will Hear Before You Pursue Your Dreams posted in August 2010 and I loved it.

Unfortunately, just before you take your first step on the righteous journey to pursue your dreams, people around you, even the ones who deeply care for you, will give you awful advice.  It’s not because they have evil intentions.  It’s because they don’t understand the big picture – what your dreams, passions, and life goals mean to you.  They don’t understand that, to you, the reward is worth the risk.
So they try to protect you by shielding you from the possibility of failure, which, in effect, also shields you from the possibility of making your dreams a reality.
As our friend Steve Jobs says:
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.  Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.  Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice, heart and intuition.  They somehow already know what you truly want to become.  Everything else is secondary.”
Here are 10 ill-advised tips (lies) people will likely tell you when you decide to pursue your dreams, and why they are dreadfully mistaken.

1. You can follow your dreams someday, but right now you need to buckle down and be responsible. – Someday?  When is ‘someday?’  Someday is not a day at all.  It’s a foggy generalization of a time that will likely never come.  Today is the only day guaranteed to you.  Today is the only day you can begin to make a difference in your life.  And pursuing your dreams is what life is all about.  So don’t be irresponsible.  Don’t wait until ‘someday.’  Make today the first day of the rest of your new life.
2. You’re totally screwed if it doesn’t work out. – Wrong!  This is a giant, lame load of BS.  You’re not even close to being screwed.  In fact, the worst case scenario is that things don’t work out and you have to go back to doing exactly what you are doing right now.
3. It’s safer to stay at your day job. – Sure, I suppose.  But you know what’s even safer than that?  Going home, locking yourself in your bedroom, and never, ever coming out.  And just like that you will have flushed your entire life and your dreams down the toilet.  Remember, safer doesn’t always mean better.
4. That’s impossible! – It’s only impossible if you never do anything about it.  The reason certain things seem impossible is simply because nobody has achieved them yet.  But this doesn’t mean that with your help these things won’t become possible in the future.  If you truly dedicate yourself to an end result, almost anything is possible.  You just have to want it bad enough.
5. Only a lucky few “make it.” – That’s because those lucky few got off their rear ends and did something about it!  They had the drive, determination, and willpower that you have right now.  You can be one of them.  It’s up to you, and only you.
6. You might fail.  And failing is bad. – Failures are simply stepping stones to success.  No matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be.  Either you succeed or you learn something.  Win-Win.  The biggest mistake you can make is doing nothing because you’re too scared to make a mistake.  If you can’t handle failure, then you can’t handle success either.
7. You don’t have access to the right resources. – It’s not about having the right resources; it’s about exploiting the resources you do have access to.  Stevie Wonder couldn’t see, so he exploited his sense of hearing into a passion for music, and he now has 25 Grammy Awards to prove it.  Get it?
8. You need more money saved before you can take the first step. – You don’t need more money.  You need a plan.  You need a budget.  Eliminate ALL the nonessential costs in your life.  If pursuing your dream requires you to leave your day job, figure out the absolute minimum amount of income that you require to realistically live.  Studying those who have succeeded with similar ventures also helps.  But above all, take baby steps.  Don’t be foolish and assume that you must have a certain amount of money saved right now, or that you must quit your day job today in order to pursue your dreams.  Instead, ask yourself, “What actions can I take right now with the money and resources I have right now that will bring me closer to desired goal?”
9. You don’t need any help.  It’s smarter to go after it alone. – You are the sum of the people you spend the most time with.  If you hang with the wrong people, they will negatively affect you.  But if you hang with the right people, you will be far more capable and powerful than you ever could have been alone.  Find your tribe and work together to make a difference in all of your lives.
10. That sounds like a lot of hard work. – You’re darn right it does!  But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it.  I think success in life hinges on one key point: Finding hard work you love doing.  As long as you remain true to yourself and follow your own interests, values and dreams, you can find success through passion.  Perhaps most importantly, you won’t wake up a few years from now working in a career field you despise, wondering “How the heck am I going to do this for the next 30 years?”  So if you catch yourself working hard and loving every minute of it, don’t stop.  You’re on to something big.  Because hard work ain’t hard when you concentrate on your passions and dreams.

Disregard these misguided bits of nonsense and you’ll be well on your way to fulfilling your dreams.
Now get out there and make a splash!

By-Marc

KOREY BOWiE - [LOVE iS ALL].

What a beautiful song!!! I loved it to much not to share.

Day 6

Project sexxi summer body~in full motion! Lost more 4lbs! Weighing food is something I never thought I would do but it's getting done! Everyday no excuse is made not to work out. The only difference is now I can work out at home if I don't feel like hitting the gym. I can even work out on vacation-take a run! Thank you all the great people that inspired me to kick my ass into high gear!